food journal 053

Sunday I was only about 90% on my dietary plan. Breakfast was about eight am and consisted of three eggs skillet poached in oil (bacon drippings), two medium sized gluten free pancakes w/ butter and maple syrup, two strips of bacon and a small sausage patty. (The refined starches and maple syrup are off plan). Lunch was with an old friend, Sanjiv, who was coming through town; we did it up at Luella’s BBQ. I ate the three hush puppies on my plate (another cheat with refined starches, and with fry oil)… the sauces were so good! 10 oz meat (3 ribs and beef brisket), collard greens, green salad with cheese and blue cheese dressing, unsweet tea. Before dinner I probably had a couple of spoonfuls of peanut butter… can’t remember for certain. For dinner it was about 6 oz of flounder with butter and a large pile of collard greens cooked with bacon and side meat, about 1/4 cup of brown and white rice. Several handfuls of almonds after dinner. Done eating by about 7:30.

food journal 035-048

14 days ago I posted a food journal entry. 13 days ago I broke my left arm skimboarding. I haven’t posted much. I have some pictures and video of me skimboarding this summer, and x-rays, and post op photos. I’ll publish them all here in good time. I plan a post about pipoboarding. I wish the photos and vids were of higher quality and didn’t show off my gangly sports style, but whatever.

I’ve continued to eat the way I have. Light or no lunch. Protein heavy breakfast with minimal fruit or other carbs. Veggies, a little starch, and meat for dinner. Night time cheating with (small amounts of) alcohol and (rather larger amounts of) sweets and sugar. I’ve been nearly 100% gluten free over the past two weeks. I’ve added glasses of milk and whey protein also, since breaking the arm.

No working out at all. Strictly mobility and stretching.

Weigh in on Tuesday, Aug. 9th, 3:30 pm: 190.5 lbs.

food journal 034

food tuesday july 26th 2011

coffee w/ half and half

weigh-in: 197.0 lbs

about 9:00 am
bites of leftover sausage and egg from kids breakfast

about 11:15 am
2 egg omelete fried in butter w/ fat slice of monterrey jack cheese
1 large grapefruit

about 1:30 pm
medium sized bowl of ground beef with tomato, spinach, and basil

selzter water

iced coffee w/ half half

a few raspberries, blueberries, and slices of banana, a sip of Yael’s beer, and maybe one bite of the kids’ dinner (see below for description)

surfing session (before and after: lemon ginger green tea… awesome pre and post cold water surfing)

… then

10:00 pm (post surfing)
white rice, pinto beans, large serving of chicken enchillada casserole (4 corn tortillas, chicken, musrooms, green chili sauce, monterrey jack, mexican farmer’s crumble, and cheddar cheeses, el pato sauce)

glass of tequilla with ice

piece of candy from Bruce’s: “dark chocolate peanut butter bar”

bowl of vanilla ice cream with boysenberry syrup (yes it has HFCS but I love it)

seltzer water

food journal 033

Food Journal for Monday, July 25th

Weigh-in 198 lbs

Coffee w/ half
A little heartburn and stomach sour this am
2 eggs fried in bacon grease
1 large banana
Coffee w/ half

Seltzer water
Coffee w/ half

Late Lunch:
One pulled pork taco: corn tortilla toasted in bacon grease, kale, pulled pork (a few ounces), Valentina sauce.
A small number of leftover French fries

Walk on the beach

4:30-6:30 pm: shot of vodka, club soda and lemon x 2

For dinner: white rice with home made ground beef and tomato sauce with fresh basil and spinach

Nighttime binge while reading:
Whiskey and club soda
Vanilla and Mint Chocolate chip ice cream with home made “hot fudge” <– quantity: large; this was serious binge behavior!

food journal 27-32

This entry covers Tuesday July 19th to Sunday, July 24th. Most of this week constituted a real vacation for me. After the visit from Danny, Anya, and family, during which we were (I was) only pretty bad, we had Ben, Deb, and family in town… and I was really bad. Vacation style eating, more of the same from my previous entry.

Usually, the day started slow. There were a few, but not a lot of big breakfasts and lunches… nor was there a lot of daytime snacking. Usually my days’ eating was focused on big dinners followed by dessert, and then nighttime binging. Several of them gave me nighttime belly aches that continued into the morning. One of them (I believe it was Friday, July 23rd, day 30 of the food journal) constituted a total gluten binge, involving wheat products at meals, snacks, and a shit-ton of pizza for dinner, followed by cookies and graham crackers into the night. I continued to eat things I normally wouldn’t through the weekend.

By Sunday July 24th (day 32), I woke up with a second day in a row of serious heartburn. The scale (which “must be” broken) claimed that I was around 199.4 lbs. Holy crap! And I felt terrible and bloated. I felt like I was at the bottom of a hole… emotionally… training wise… and physiologically. I almost didn’t eat any breakfast (coffee and a single scrambled egg). Yet I knew the day would not be friendly to good eating. I was going to have early lunch at a cafeteria in the “retirement village” where my grandmother lives, in Astoria, OR. Having checked out the menu on a previous visit, I knew what to expect. My expectations were not disappointed. “Fried” chicken, powdered mashed potatoes (a product I actually like), boiled carrots, olive drab steamed broccoli. At least I skipped the gravy and “rice pudding.” I ate a massive plate… too much. After returning to Arch Cape, I drank seltzer water and worked out. I started to feel better. (But there are other emotional issues there!) It was a beautiful afternoon. I decided to have a post workout beer… which may have been the healthiest food choice I made all day! I also ate leftover pulled pork (from dinner on Wednesday, I think). At that point, we realized that we didn’t really have proper groceries to make a healthy dinner. We decided, against normal policy at our place, to take our small children “out” to dinner. We ended up at a fish and chip house. I decided not to spend $22 on healthy grilled fish and steamed veggies. For half the price, I had deep fried battered cod and french fries. And heck, I even dipped it in cheap tartar sauce and “homemade” cocktail sauce (manifestly tomato ketchup with horseradish). I did not overeat. And I waited for the bloating, the discomfort, the heartburn, to return. It did not. I stayed away from the kitchen, then, until I was reading in the evening, well after kid bedtime. I finished off the day with a little bit of Rye, a bit of apple, a bit of dried papaya, dried mango, and a few chocolate chips. Compared with the previous week, this was incredibly moderate. I stopped all food intake around 10:30 pm.

For the next few days I know, or rather I feel, that I am going to be back on track. I will probably take a complete break from alcohol and sugars and will certainly return to a gluten free eating pattern. I may even go back to light intermittent fasting. Merely because eating that way makes me feel better, emotionally and physically. But I also know, from documenting my (ch)eating over the past 32 days in this journal, not to expect that things will sort themselves out on my own.

During this period I had some seriously, seriously embarrassing food days. Days that reminded me that my problem with food is really this two-edged issue of psychological compulsiveness and addiction. If I pour my energy into “healthy” eating, I can eat like a champion. But I rightly feel (and get reminded by more sane friends like Brian and Andrew) that this mode is ridiculous and leads to unhealthy “eating disorder” type behaviors. On the other hand, it seems as though I am incapable of eating like a “normal” person. In the absence of self-imposed fascistic controls on my diet, I become the cookie monster.

I don’t have the answer to this issue at the moment. I’d like to be a “food normal” … but really, I’m actually not. So I’ll be thinking about how to address this issue… compulsive behavior around food and diet… in the near future.

food journal 21-26

This pathetic entry covers almost an entire week in which I didn’t compose new entries. Wednesday, July 13th (21), Thursday, July 14th (22), Friday, July 15th (23), Saturday, July 16th (24), Sunday, July 17th (25), and Monday, July 18th (26).

Days start out pretty well, usually. My morning meals have not been stellar, but they are ok. It’s always first coffee with half and half or milk. Then we usually have breakfast. It’s eggs, sometimes with cheese, and whatever breakfast meat we happen to have on hand, such as bacon or sausage or even smoked salmon. For carbs it’s fruit, or oatmeal, corn tortillas, or even none. On at least one of these days (today, day 26) my breakfast has been ridiculous. It was leftover pork ribs and a large slice of pizza. I kid you not. I give myself: B- grade on breakfasts.

Daytime snacks and lunch: I mostly haven’t been doing ‘snacks’ or ‘lunch’. With some exceptions, like, sitting on the beach after surfing yesterday I had peanuts and corn chips. Or occasionally I will have a tablespoon of almond butter, some fruit, a handful of peanuts, that kind of thing. Lunch is often skipped, or is leftover meats, with a little bit of fruit. I find that lunch tends to interfere with mid-day activity on the beach or in lifting, surfing, etc. Sometimes this means that “lunch” looks like a daytime snack. Grade on lunch and snacks: C+.

Dinner has been the main meal of the day, and usually the healthiest, with the exception of day 25, where we had Pizza. I can’t recall at present (end of day 26) what I ate last Wednesday. That’s not surprising. There has been fish stew and spinach (day 26), pizza, salad and crab (day 25), salmon, carrots, and green beans (day 24), bbq pork ribs, mashed potatoes, and broccoli (day 23); other meals, of which I am less certain of the timing, include ground beef with tomatotes, broccoli, kale, and zucchini (probably day 21). With the exception of Pizza dinner and cheating I have been probably 95% gluten free. Grade on dinner: B+.

Alcohol: “never on a school night” has not been in effect. But then, it’s not a “school night.” Beer, wine, liquor. All has been fair game. During the day, not so much (I have grown very fond of having a beer after surfing, though). Up to kid bed time, I am very restrained and discreet. After dinner, the later I stay up, the more I drink, it seems. Especially when the house is filled with old friends as it was over the weekend of the 15th-17th (days 23-24-25). Grade: F.

Post-dinner binge eating: yes. My sweet tooth is in total effect. Chocolate and butter (i.e. fudge sauce), random candies left lying around by the kids, ice cream, cheddar cheese, almond butter, even Pizza (on nights 25 and 26). Grade: D+

Weigh-in: 192.0. What this tells me is that, pretty obviously, whatever I am doing is not hurting the “bottom” line.

food journal 017-020

What can I say? It’s vacation. The days that these entries would correspond to are (17) Saturday, July 9th, (18) Sunday, July 10th, (19) Monday, July 11th, and (20) Tuesday, July 12th.

I’ve been eating a lot of tacos. I love tacos with corn tortillas. I bought some local wild ling cod and local cabbage and have been eating them together on corn tortillas fried in butter with greek yogurt and stuff. Also lots of ice cream, gluten free pancakes, syrup, strawberries (such are the sweet succulent fresh and ripe local Oregon strawberries that even the best ice cream is self conscious when served along with them), cheese, salami, chocolate, even candies, and yes whiskey, the occasional beer. My dad and mom were with us on 17-18, so that’s that, and then these epic evening surfing sessions have been followed by second dinners, late eating, no fasting. But what I’m eating is mostly good home made food. Saturday we had take out from Mo’s. I had salmon and (and bites of everybody else’s fish and lots of ‘chips’ (i.e. fries). Sunday we ate lovely Cod. Monday I slow cooked a bunch of beef ribs, Yum. Tuesday… it’s late and I still haven’t eaten dinner yet. Or had a drink. But it’s vacation, so I think I’ll sign off and eat now. There is a chocolate peanut butter dipped hostess Twinkie from Buzz Candy in Seaside. On the counter. Nearby.

By the way! For some reason today I weighed between 189.4 and 190.4 lbs. I haven’t been watching what I eat. On the contrary. Yet. I’ve. Lost. Weight. In fact is about 7 pounds less than I was weighing when I left Asheville. Hmm. What have I done differently since then? I have ‘kept’ a food journal. I have also gotten more rest, and sleep, and I’ve been in the water four times in three days.

I need to lift tomorrow.

food journal 016

Friday July 8th 2011

Lousy sleep and only 11 hours of fasting under my belt when I ate breakfast at 8:30 am:

Coffee w/ half half
3 eggs fried in butter
Leftover kale greens made w/ onion, olive oil and salt
Fried leftover russet potato (a couple of oz)
Sausage patties (maybe 3 oz)
Two small gluten free pancakes
Apple cinnamon syrup (homemade)

Later: coffee w/ half half
Couple of spoonfuls of peanut butter
Couple of strawberries

After workout at 2:00 pm:
1 beer

2 rockfish tacos: rockfish, lime butter, sour cream, pico de gallo, corn tortillas
corn chips, strawberries, more sour cream and pico de gallo
1 gluten free chocolate chip cookie

… very satisfying post-workout eating …

iced coffee w/ half and half; shot of Kahlua in dere

for dinner, about 6:00 pm:
sweet potatoes, several oz
lacinato kale, about a cup
broccoli, about 1/2 cup
10 oz steak
shot of whiskey

post dinner snackage… it’s Friday and the folks are back in town… I kept nibbling for a while… while finishing a novel in an easy chair. Didn’t stop eating until about 11:00 pm.

shot of vodka, shot of whiskey
almonds and chocolate chips
vanilla ice cream and strawberries
cheddar cheese and salami

Definitely a cheat day!

food journal 010-014 utter defeat

When I last updated this stupid food journal the VERY long (five day) Fourth of July weekend was just about to begin. Friday, July 1st was to have been day 10; today, Wednesday, July 6th would have been day 14.

That’s a long cheat on a “warpath” that’s barely 2 weeks old. It also means that ever since I decided to declare nutritional war and began this food journal on Wednesday, June 22nd, I’ve kept almost to the plan on only something like 5 days.

That’s utter defeat. I will not make my half-hearted attempt to explain myself. I ate semi-well until after the kids went down. Then it was a family party until late bed time every day. My sister and her kids left only today, and we spent the warm evening at the park in town with our kids, ate Pizza, got the kids ice cream, and are chilling out now.

I didn’t keep the journal. It’s impossible to sit at the laptop and play “scientific diet genius” (i.e. keep a food journal) while living in a single house full of four kids, and six adults and several bottles of bourbon. Take it from me: just don’t try it.

I refuse to document exactly these five nights of semi-debauchery and days of relaxed eating but suffice it to say they included copious amounts of various things including: candy, strudel, pancakes, ice cream, fudge sauce, chocolate, leftover dinners, dried fruit, salami, cheese, beef jerky, alcoholic beverages, veggie chips, tortillas, nuts… etc., etc. The list goes on and on.

I restarted my fast at 7:00 pm today, after the second huge slice of pepperoni, onions, and black olives at Pizza a’ Fetta in Cannon Beach.

I will write food journal entry number 15 on Thursday. But it should be added that food is awesome and vacations are awesome and I am a card-carrying minister of slack. So don’t expect a return of uninterrupted journaling. I’ll be going AWOL again, most likely; at least during the next four weeks.

I realized yesterday that my original plan, which was to do two months starting on Aug. 21st, that plan was much more sane than this new plan warpath, which is crazy. AG is right about that. Nevertheless, I’ve committed myself, and besides, I know that trying to think about eating and reflect on it in writing has been very useful to me and my training. So…

Insane it is, then.

food journal 009

Thursday, June 30th, 2011

Been pretty good today, so far… not counting the refined grain products in my lunch.

Coffee w/ half and half before breakfast

Breakfast about 8:30 am: 3 egg and sausage omelette fried in butter, cantaloupe

Coffee w/ half and half while grading.

Lunch about 12:30 pm: large cod fish and chip “taco” (medium sized flour tortilla, salsa, cole slaw and cabbage, deep fried battered cod)

Second lunch about 1:30 pm: medium sized serving of leftover beef/zucchini enchillada (corn tortilla, tomato, sauce, onion, zucchini, grass fed ground beef, butter, enchillada sauce, 4 cheese mix)

Sparkling water

Coffee w/ half and half… and more grading.

I had missed a glorious day at the beach while working on finishing up summer school classes. But I finished grading and filing grades, and that was done. To celebrate that, and the arrival of my parents, and the early arrival of the sun on this fourth of july weekend, I had a whiskey.

Everything went very well through dinner. For dinner, it was carrots, potatoes, green cauliflower, stewed beef shank and marrow bone, and mushrooms sauteéd with bacon. And a beer.

After dinner, I had more of my homemade strawberry ice cream; good flavor, terrible ice cream texture. I also had the last few of those star cookies I mentioned yesterday. And some chocolate truffles. And a little more whiskey.

Things were ok for a while, but my sister and her kids arrived sometime around 10:00 pm. She brought bags of food which I unpacked. Among the items: gluten free almond cookies, chocolate chip cookies, coconut cookies, and many other goodies. I had another glass of whiskey. And various cookies. And raspberries, and cheese. And more chocolate. And truly, I lost track of what I ate, or how many times I went back to the kitchen counter. Basically, I went on a binge. I stayed up too late, ate too much, drank too much, and

Not sure what happened to my inner nutritional warrior. He sure wasn’t with me last night. I guess that, like me, he… is on vacation?

What can I learn from Thursday? I notice a pretty clear pattern in my behavior, which is that you get a couple of drinks in me, bring on the night, and I start to forget things that seem much more important to me in the morning. Things like, getting enough sleep, or healthy eating (e.g. avoiding sweets, keeping a daily fast).

Given the realities of the upcoming family holiday weekend… a beach house, ample stocks of booze and food, and my normally more relaxed attitude towards these things on Fridays and Saturdays, I can guess I won’t return to intermittent fasting until Sunday. That’s ok. It really is.