food journal 049
A perfect shit storm has hit me lately: health, family, household, etc. I have a broken arm, along with insomnia and jet lag (awful combination), my dog died on Tuesday, and then so did my fridge (the repair was expensive). Add to that an unpleasant, sad anniversary on Wednesday that I’d rather not discuss in my public gym notebook… my life feels shadowed by a melancholy gloom and doom.
I ate well all day on Wednesday, but then went a little haywire after dark. This is a very old eating pattern for me. Not my ideal.
Day started at 5:20 am with only about 3 hours of sleep. Coffee w/ half half. About 8:00 am, I had a breakfast of three eggs scrambled in butter, plus a banana. And 12 oz. milk. More coffee w/ half half. At lunchtime, say 1 pm, I had spinach, a cup of leftover brown rice, and two cans (8 oz) of sardines packed in olive oil. I ate the oil too… nice dressing. Dinner was shrimp in butter, and broccoli. Plus another 12 oz glass of whole milk.
Later I drank whiskey, ate .75 QT of vanilla ice cream (refrozen after the fridge got fixed, and barely edible), some jelly beans I found in the cupboard, about 4 oz of cheddar cheese, and 2 oz, of almonds.
I justify my behavior to myself with all kinds of excuses. I have no pain meds and can’t fall asleep at a reasonable hour even on only 3 hours of sleep… so whiskey seems right. Plus it’s a memorial libation for Marshall, and Jude. Etc. I have watched my mom make excuses like this. She’s still excusing herself at 70 years old. Maybe I can get a better grip.